Nodal Opposition: Out Of Sync With The World (Libra South Node Transit)

I’ve just read an article by my mentor Ada about the experience of her south node in Scorpio, along with some about Pluto times and the ghosts that come with them. I found it funny, mainly in an “Ah, of course it’s that way” kind of manner. I’m in a 4th house profection year, which essentially means this year is focused on the 4th house, the place of the inner world, our inner selves, the things we keep hidden, the space within that we withdraw to when the world is too much. It is also the place where things go be to buried. And in my solar return chart this year, I have retrograde Pluto in Capricorn in the 4th house square Libra Mars in the 1st house. Both of Scorpio’s rulers - the sign over my solar return’s 2nd house, are locked in tension.

I’m a Libra Sun - my birthday is almost a week ago to the day as I’m writing this. I was born in the season where things begin to die. It’s not something we often connect with Libra, but it’s a truth. I was born in October, the month of spooks, scares, haunts, chills, and Halloween. I always get a little eerie around this time of year. Not just in my desire to embrace this holiday that feels like a birthright, but because even though this is the start of a new year personally, it is the end of one for the world at large. And so, I’m trapped every year in this weird liminal space, feeling both alive and dead all at once. It’s a paradox… which makes it even more my birthright. Libra is the sign of paradoxicality after all.

I’ve always felt rather… haunted. My soul a hallowed graveyard that ached for something I could never quite put my finger on. Something I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to put my finger on. And yet, I’m still compelled to try. After all, I’ve natally got Pluto in Sagittarius in the 9th house - I love to ask the hard questions and try to find some kind of answer, even if that answer may be a most terrible truth. Something I may wish I never knew, but something I knew I still needed to know. That is the life of a Plutonian and Pluto touches quite a bit of things in my chart.

Right now, the world has moved from the south node in Scorpio and north node in Taurus to the south node in Libra and north node in Aries. For me, this marks what is called the nodal opposition - a time when the nodes are in opposite signs than the ones I was born with. I have south node in Aries and north node in Libra. So while the world at large is meant to be moving away from Libra and into Aries, it feels like I’m flying in the face of my own soul’s desire to move away from Aries and into Libra, a feeling not helped by having Sun conjunct north node and Saturn conjunct south node in my birth chart. All of that is to say, this year further augments that sense of being haunted and out of step with the world around me.

Despite that, I feel alive. I feel strong. I feel wild. I also feel sick, tired, and exhausted, but hey, that’s beside the point. Or not. Like I said, paradox. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m in my comfort zone. See, when someone is born with north node in Libra - and honestly Libra placements in general - they are someone who is rather used to dealing with chaos, madness, pain. They’re used to being in a warzone. That’s not something usually thought to be associated with Libra, but Steven Forrest describes Libra this way in his “Book of Air” - one of the books in his Elements series. And it was a more general descriptor for Libra that I really resonated with. Libra is the Diplomat and the Peacekeeper, but Steven - as an evolutionary astrologer - says that is Libra’s goal in life, not the place it starts out, but the place that it’s meant to evolve into. That hits me hard since I have that north node there. I’m meant to seek peace and develop it, but I’m not at peace in my soul. I never have been. And here’s why: Aries south node.

And we return to the original point: Ada’s Scorpio south node article. She speaks a lot about the pain the south node can bring, that it represents something we ultimately have to leave behind. The south node is our comfort zone of sorts. It’s a toolbox we’re quite familiar with and enjoy using to some extent. It’s been there for us in the past. And yet, we have to leave it behind if we are meant to grow. To thrive. To evolve. That’s not easy. In fact, it’s frightening. Humans are creatures of habit. The thought of abandoning a long-used tool, a well-loved mask, a part of our souls, is utterly terrifying. And yet, we must. It’s the past for a reason. We shouldn’t forget the lessons it taught us, but it is not a place to stay. Why? Because if we stay in one place for too long, we die.

Thus, we are pushed to pursue our north node. Something entirely new to us. Enemy territory. A foreign land. It’s terrifying because we have no means to gauge how this will go. And yet, we must if we wish to survive and better than that, live. I think that’s true of the nodal axis, but that language of survival and death is definitely my Aries-Libra nodal axis speaking. In the past, I spent a lot of my lives surviving - doing my best to keep my head above water. I didn’t have time for the luxuries of comfort and peace - that’s Taurus, Libra, Venusian. My south node lies with Mars and Aries - two archetypes associated with fighting and doing what it takes to keep yourself alive. No time for diplomacy, joy, delight, pleasure, or stasis. I had to keep moving or die. That’s all I knew. All I know. I don’t know how else to be.

Another word for stasis? Equilibrium. Balance. The realm of Libra and Venus. I’ve been dropped into a lifetime where suddenly, I have no choice but to learn peace. To learn how to cooperate with others. Not just look after them. Not just defend them. Not just fight for them, but work in harmony with them. And nothing in the world makes my skin crawl more. Why? Because that requires me to trust people. My soul balks at that. I have Saturn conjunct south node in Aries in the 1st house. I pride myself on being independent. I don’t want to have to put my survival or life in the hands of someone else. I don’t do that. I can’t do that. Because that requires a capitulation to others that I don’t wanna risk. You know nothing about me, how the hell could I ever trust you? For my Libra placements are in the 7th house of personal relationships. Venus rules over connection to others and the world around us. My north node lies there - in what is basically uncharted territory for me.

Kind of. You see, Chiron is also in that same sign. I have, in order, north node, Sun, and Chiron conjunct in Libra. Chiron is the wounded place we supposedly can never heal. The place where there is a deep fear of being hurt again. So there’s a part of my soul that’s terrified of being betrayed by others - namely in one-on-one personal relationships. Thus, on one hand, I have Aries south node screaming that to bind myself to others is deadly and foolish, that I can’t risk losing my independence, and that this is dangerous because I know nothing about how to do this. And on the other hand, I have Chiron screaming that relationships will be the death of me. That to engage in them brings nothing but pain and suffering and they should be avoided at all costs.

But Chiron is conjunct Sun conjunct north node. Sun represents my personal narrative, my sense of self. North node is what I’m here in this life trying to become. South node is the past that I’m moving away from. Moving forward, evolving, and survival is now no longer about staying safe on my own. It’s about learning to live and thrive with others. I can no longer just fight for my life anymore. I have to connect. I have to love. I have to trust. That is how I avoid stasis. Because the only way to stay in one spot forever, the only to not have to change, the only way to cling to the past? Death. Dying. That is what permanent stasis is. A death toll. The Reaper’s Call. Saturn is conjunct my south node - the god of harvest and time who wields a scythe. The nodal opposition is a prelude to my Saturn return. When Saturn knocks, I do not wish to be on the receiving end of that blade. And so, I must march on to become a person who is the antithesis of everything I’ve ever known - to drop my survival instincts so I may survive by living.

How bitterly ironic.

So how does that bode with my haunted soul, this worldwide nodal shift from Libra to Aries? How do I work with the fact that my soul’s evolution is out of step - out of time - with the people around me? I become a ghost. After all, isn’t that part of a ghost’s story - a spirit out of time and sync with the world? A spirit trapped, crying and yearning to be heard and held and vindicated so that it may pass on. For someone to record its story and keep its memory alive. A Keeper of the Lore, as Ada said.

How can one be the ghost and the Keeper? I mentioned it being a 4th house year. The 4th house is where things go to die. In a sense. You could say the same about the 8th and 12th houses. It may be more accurate to say that it is the place where things are already buried and are yearning to be overcome. A graveyard. Our ancestral burial place. That is the take by Alice Sparkly Kat. One I resonate with more than I have the means to convey. I have Pluto - Lord of the Underworld - here this year. It’s in Capricorn, retrograde. Capricorn is the sign of conserving the past and releasing what cannot be saved. Ada has brought up that connection in her Discord quite a bit. And it made it make sense to me. Saturn rules Capricorn and rules time and harvest in mythology. Of course conservation is a theme of the Sea-Goat. And with the Lord of Riches there, there’s a strong impulse within me to uncover what riches lie at the bottom of this graveyard. What can be carried forward and what needs to be buried for good? That’s Pluto in Capricorn’s question.

What will my inner Keeper of Lore discover in this underwater tomb of my ancestors? Will it be enough to feed my hungry ghost? To grant it peace? To free it from limbo? Or will my Keeper merely become another casualty, another ghost some other me will have to free? Only Time will tell.